“more fun to listen to than most music, creed and dave matthews excluded”
—the guy from creed and a guy who likes dave matthews
“i would come out of my secret hiding place just for a chance at his friendship.”
—sandy koufax
Then he says:
Me: 42 year old white male with a generally positive outlook on life, one salary, zero tattoos, one car, one hamster, and one (slightly used) apparatus for baby making. I’d be willing to consider getting re-virginized if this is a deal-breaker for your family.
I’d prefer not to convert to your religion, but I would consider relocation if my travel expenses were covered. [Ha, this one made me crack up.]
Then, my friends, he gets into the 100 reason to date him [I'm including my faves.]:
You’ll never have to worry about driving illegally in the carpool lane again.
I’ll hold your coffee for you when you’re driving.
Around you, times stands still.
I promise not to burn the house down while you’re gone.
I do know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop.
I don’t care what music we listen to in the car.
I’ve never eaten a bon-bon in my life.
This where it gets really creepy:
You see, I come from the other side of the universe. I have a mission, I want to share it with you. This is the doctrine that I presented to the human female species of your so called planet earth some time ago.